On the Surface

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Beautiful pictures. Beautiful family. I do feel that way, and it is true. Blogs are great for that. Telling you how it is, on the surface. Not many blogs tell you what it is really like. What the day to day is like. Some blogs will occasionally let something in here and there. Maybe someone was rude to a neighbor or some child is dragging his or her feet about a chore or something. Those are not real struggles. Not real family dynamics at play.

No one wants to put their real life out there for all to read. I don’t want to either. We all like to make it look blissful and wonderful. Most of us know that isn’t really true but we all want to believe it. Who doesn’t like to scroll down and look at happy, beautiful things and people?

I am not going to go into detail about our family and the troubles it has. For the most part we are a happy, content, beautiful family. We have problems and try and deal with them as best as we can. We are together. We love. We care for each other.

For the last few years two of my sons have been struggling with the whole growing up thing. I don’t remember things being so hard when I was in my twenties but really I was thrown into responsibility because I was a mother at 22. I chose to be responsible because of the child I was carrying inside of me. It did change me. For the better. I like to think I would have changed and became responsible and happy without a child but I will never know that now.

Two adult men well into their twenties have been making some very poor life choices. As a mother I am looking to myself and how we raised them for answers. I am very confused and sad and frustrated. I cannot for the life of me figure out the why of it. I love them. I was a stay at home mom. I homeschooled them. We spent loads of time with them. Camping, hiking, games, read to them for hours at a time. Open conversations, long discussions. Nothing and no one ever came before them. Not even my husband. We were not wealthy. They didn’t get all the latest and greatest toys or education and they never asked us for them. We lived in the country. They had pets. They were happy, well adjusted children. Went on to high school and did very well. Both received full scholarships to college. They continue to be close to us and each other. There was no death, divorce, or abuse. We loved them. None of these things equate to a ‘perfect’ child. There is no ‘recipe’ for raising happy, well adjusted kids. I never expected perfect children. I knew I wasn’t perfect. I never expected they would grow up to be unhappy.

So there is the truth of it here at this blog. I know we are a normal family. We have problems. We are working on them. I will continue to support and love my family. I will continue to show you parts of my life. I may at times show you a little more than what is just on the surface.

 

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2 thoughts on “On the Surface

  1. That is hard and you are right, people don’t tend to pour out their business on their websites. I tend to share a bit more on my FB page, but my list is small… only 94 people. Most are family, church and high school friends. There are a few on that list I’ve never met, but connected with and would love to meet… someday.

    It’s hard when we watch our loved ones going through difficult times. Part of me always wants to sweep down and guide them through whatever they are dealing with, but all I can do is pray, be supportive and give a listening ear… if needed. My daughter has faced minor challenges but they were big challenges to her. She’s definitely her own person and does not go along not to stand out. At 13, well.. that sometimes can make you a target. I was the same way at her age. Things have gotten better for her and she has a nice circle of friends that accept her just as she is as she does with them.

    My daughter is STILL excited about homeschooling and so am I. She will be going into the ninth grade. She does very well in school, but sometimes it seems her Lutheran school is holding her back since she has to wait on other students. Also, there are so many interests that she would like to do and it’s simply not available in a typical school setting. At the first of the new year is when I’m officially enrolling her. What curriculum do you use? I

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    1. We don’t use any one curriculum. We do for math. Teaching Textbooks. This year I bought biology books online and a microscope. Also using Geography coloring books. Every year is different. I sort of put it together based on what they want to learn.

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